Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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