i just wanna soil my oats bro
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
