As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm always down for nudity.
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