That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
