Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
