the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize