Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
