morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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