Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
