I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
