You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
