Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
