Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
