we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
