I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
