Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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