I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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