I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
