i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
