Already got asked if we're dating
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
