how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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