i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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