I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
