Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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