You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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