I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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