i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
