Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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