Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

Pants 0. Shit 1.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!

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(802): View more from Vermont

I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.

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(951): View more from California

His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format

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(703): View more from Virginia

I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.

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(512): View more from Texas

He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...

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