These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
