hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
