College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
