dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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