K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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