At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
