garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
