im having a threesome with these popsicles
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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