Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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