guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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