I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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