I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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