my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Randomize