i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
