fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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