so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
