So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
