A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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