I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
