We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
