Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
