Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
