You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
