you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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