Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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