I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I think a kid would responsible me up
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
