Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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