Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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