Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
