i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
