I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
