i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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