I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
