just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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