dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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