I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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