I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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