every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize