So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
